Gorilla, Manchester

One of the plusses (or perhaps minuses) of being a Primary School teacher is the seemingly never ending supply of cracker quality jokes I get to hear.

Every day, in the playground, some kid or another wants to share an often bemusing and occasionally amusing gag.

Perhaps it was the joke: ‘What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A gorilla with a machine gun!’ a child had shared earlier in the week that which planted the seed, prompting my return to eat at Gorilla.

Last time I visited Gorilla (see here), I ended up choosing vegetarian dishes – this time I went for a meaty feast.

On my last visit I sat on the mezzanine floor but this time I took up a seat at the bar. Next to me were two fabulous looking sourdough loaves. I couldn’t resist ordering the Bread & Dripping – lightly toasted sourdough with beef dripping and stock. It was good… much better than this joke: Where does a monkey cook his toast? Under a gorilla!

I later learned that the bread had been made by the, obviously talented, baker in the kitchens of one of Gorilla’s sisters ‘The Salutation Hotel’ (see here).

Manchester’s continental markets may have inspired my next choice (and joke), delicious, heavily Smoked Bratwust Chipolatas – What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris? Ape Suzettes!

Whilst munching on the Grilled Lime & Chilli Halloumi, I noticed the cocktail chalkboard at the end of the bar and thought of the joke: What is a Gorilla favourite cocktail? An ape-ricot sour! I also thought that, although the halloumi was cooked well and the roasted peppers and onions were good, the lime and chilli flavours could have been prominent. 

How do you make a Gorilla stew? You keep it waiting for an hour! Whilst waiting for my main course, I took some time out to note the service. Service was good. As more diners arrived, there was a ‘wait time’ of about twenty minutes but the staff kept diners informed and were generally helpful and friendly - Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter, there's a Gorilla in my soup?'

For my main I ordered the 32 day, dry aged Cheshire Rib Eye Steak with garlic and rosemary potatoes and béarnaise sauce. The steak was excellent quality and tasted great despite being cooked a little longer than requested. The béarnaise too was well balanced. The rosemary and garlic potatoes were very strongly flavoured and thoroughly enjoyable.

Full from the bread, potatoes, sausages and 9oz steak, I didn’t have any room for dessert but I will share some suitable Gorilla themed pudding jokes such as: What are gorilla's favourite cookies? Chocolate chimp! and What do you get when you throw a banana to two hungry gorillas? A banana split! or even How do you make a Gorilla float? Two scoops of ice cream, some soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

Gorilla is no joking matter – in my mind its one of Manchester’s best casual eateries. 

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